You do not need to read about Stoicism to practice it. You may already be living it.

Stoicism as a philosophy essentially means controlling your emotions — not to be emotionless, but to accept things as they come, no matter what they are. It is mastery of yourself.

A well-known prayer sums it up neatly: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

This also intersects with many self-improvement ideas and philosophies, such as being “anti-fragile,” practicing “grit and grind,” having a “growth mindset,” or following Zen Buddhism.

At the root of it, it is centered on acceptance, and it is independent of other beliefs you may hold — you don’t need religion to qualify or to disqualify you from being a “Stoic.”

Stoicism can apply to all topics, especially your real-life issues: politics, relationships, career, love, and family. You aim to practice it no matter which side of “whelm” you are in — I rely on it when I get overwhelmed, and I remember it when I get underwhelmed.

There is this clip of John Cena being interviewed. In it, he shows a broken pocket watch he uses not to keep time but to keep perspective.

The back of the watch has the adage, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This reminds him that he is enough and motivates him to do things when he is scared. On the other side, it has the adage “Memento Mori” (“Remember you must die”), and this reminds him that everything is fleeting, and this, in turn, keeps him grounded. These two sides remind him to manage his ego when he is high and to lift himself when he is low.

How Stoicism Has Helped Me

I am someone who is a breadwinner and has two kids — one of which was diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). It has been hard looking for therapy support and SPED resources, and even harder when looking for extra funds to pay for these.

However, when I see other parents struggling with their children during therapy sessions, it gives me pause. They often have to go through so much more than I do, and if they can endure, so can I. The parents I talk with usually share their stories, and I find it lightens our loads when we realize that we are not alone in our struggles.

My work revolves around operations in a fintech company. As a client-facing person, I often manage many while following up on issues internally with the dev teams. As the in-betweens, we frequently suffer pressure from both sides as we try to unstick bottlenecks.

Working in this field for more than seven years has taught me to compartmentalize my worries and absorb criticisms without taking them personally. I am already my greatest critic; why should I be overly concerned with others’ opinions?

While waiting for opportunities, I’ve learned not to push it. Like the philosophy of “Wu-Wei,” I let things unfold naturally. I’ve learned that being patient allows you to see more facets and nuances. I noticed that with my wife as well; when we were younger, our fights were fiery, like goats locking horns. Now that we’re older, we’re more inclined to let the other rant and release that energy first, and then we meet halfway.

In the Philippines, traffic enforcers are usually deputized and unarmed, so they are frequently subjected to verbal abuse every time they apprehend violators. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve dodged or “downgraded” a ticket because I changed my tone and became more emphatic while talking to a traffic enforcer.

My mind is so noisy that I can’t meditate in the traditional sense. However, I realized that stopping for a while and taking everything, using all my senses, is already a form of meditation. Mindfulness only requires being present.

Some Thoughts I Come Back To That are Stoic in Nature

• The only constant in the universe is change. This will pass, for good or for worse.
• Sometimes, you need a different perspective to change desperation into determination.
• When someone or something hurts me, I always stop and think deeply about the possible reasons why he/it may have done so.
• Put a label on your emotion to acknowledge it.
• Gratitude is always underrated.
• True happiness is tied to within and not to outside things.

Summing It Up

You do not need to read about Stoicism to practice it. You only need to understand what is in your control and what is not. Things you experience also change meaning when you change the perspective you are looking from.